Almost the End of the Year

Almost the end of the year. I have a new spelling of the Goddess whose name I bear, Goddess Quan Yin, and a new email address to reflect it: goddess.quan.yin@gmail.com. I hypnotized my group last night in the group's holiday party. I gave them all a dual arousal/reinduction trigger to whatever degree they wished. I wrote an induction that used the flashing colored lights of this time of the year. It was my holiday present to the group. I've never sat down and written an induction before in all my eighteen years as a hypnotist. I have always preferred to improvise. I also intentionally made it so that either gender would feel comfortable with it too, as a response to a request in my discussion group.

I peacefully celebrated the solstice on the 21st by feeding my boas an extra rodent each, and I gave my dog some toys. I spent an extra little moment for wondering at life.

I noticed my dog celebrated again today, the 25th, by eating any and all things that fell on the floor while some of my seventeen roommates cooked the holiday feast today in both kitchens. I think my dog may have telekinetic abilities. I watched her will people to drop hunks of food right in front of her! Some say cats are sneaky, but my dog is really sneaky.

I did a lot of reworking of the FAQs on my site tonight, and they are beginning to reflect what I have really have had in mind for some time. I will be moving some FAQs to separate pages of their own, thus giving emphasis to the few that remain on the FAQs page proper.

At this point last year I was sleeping on a mountainside in a redwood forest. Life sure has changed a lot! I still love it here in the rainforest. It's even better with a roof and walls though, and that hot cup of tea in the morning is heaven on earth. Thank Goddess!

Life is Good

I must say, today was a day blessed with friendship. That is not easy to come by or to be taken lightly either. I really appreciate my wonderful friends. Seems like I have made quite a few lately that I am enjoying very much. Maybe I have been not finding the right sub, but I have been making such great friends I don't care. Life is good.

How to Talk to a Domme Online

© Goddess Kwan Yin
all rights reserved

1. This is an interview, no matter how casual you think it is.
Be on the best possible behavior you can muster.
Be as polite as you possibly can.
Ask how she is today.
Ask if she is busy.
Proof read what you send first.
If you write via email, proofread it for mistakes and check the spelling too. Make a real letter with a greeting and a closing. Explain why you wish to serve her, specifically her. It would be really great if you enclosed a headshot photo.
In a private message, give her your total attention. Don't answer the phone, don't chat with others, don't brb (be right back), and be attentive. Read what she types carefully. Don't make her ask you something twice. I absolutely hate having to asks something twice. Don't ask a million questions, let her take the lead. Be patient for her answers.

2. Read her profile, blog, site, or discussion group, or whatever she shows on her profile first, BEFORE you contact her!
If you have to join the discussion group to check it out, then do it. You can always leave any group later. If you don't like the group~leave that Domme alone.
If it says to email her first, do it! I know that seems easy, but you guys don't ever do it, and it reflects badly on you, as if you cannot follow directions! Who wants a sub who can't follow directions! When you write via email, proofread and spellcheck it. Write a real letter with a greeting and a closing. Explain why you wish to serve her, specifically her.
Don't send her an unsolicited instant message if it says to email her! You can ask in an email if you can have a chat. It appears lazy if you don't do that? No one wants a lazy slave. Most of us just close unsolicited PMs.
If their profile says 'no profile~no chat', you better make one. If it says 'no D/s profile~no D/s chat', better make that kind.
If their profile says no _____ (fill in the blank with: hypnotic novices, married men, third world men, BDSM novices, women, certain ethnic groups, under 40 years old, etc.), don't bother the Domme if you are a _____, whatever it is. It doesn't matter if you think that isn't fair, you're only going to piss her off by trying to argue with her about it.

3. If you see a dominant you wish to speak to in a chatroom, ask in the chatroom if you can talk to them privately. If she says no, don't be surprised! Look and see if her profile lists an email, if it does use it to make a real introduction. Perhaps her site is a way to email her too, there are usually webmaster links at least. Be creative. Use your brain. Find a way.

4. Never say "I'll do everything you say" or "I'll do anything for you.” I used to know a Domme that would reply "send me your little finger", if you said this to her. I am compassionate to a point, but you are obviously LYING by saying this or insane, and showing it. No one on this planet is so stupid as to do anything I say. Don't pretend you will, it's total and utter bullshit, even if you don't realize it.

Please formulate what BDSM limits you have, if you have some experience BEFORE she asks. If you're a novice sub, try to formulate an idea of what you will not do (hard limits), or what you might do under some certain compelling circumstances, or what you might think you'd do if the Domme really wanted it (soft limits).

Some D/s limits include: no scat or toilet training (getting your head flushed, and or getting your head or face shit on), no blood, no marks, no needles, no cuckolding (where the Domme has other sex partners in front of you and makes you watch or do things with them), no relatives (like if the Domina makes you have sex with her sister or with your sister, etc.), no humiliation, no pain, no intoxicants, no homosexuality, no loaning out the sub, and more. Please think about yours, and write them down now.

5. Don't ask her any of these questions:

Can you TRY to hypnotize me? That's both insulting, because everyone can be hypnotized AND because we know what we're doing. That also requires that we say 'yes I can', even if we would rather vomit first. Then we have to take another 10 minutes to explain why we don't wish to. : )

Can I serve you? or Will you be my Domme?
Don't ask this if you just met the lady. Expect to be asked why you wish to serve specifically her. Any so-called dominant or top that says yes you can serve, when they just met you, is a fake Domme. No dominant in their right mind would say yes, because you need to establish a friendship and rapport with a Dominatrix. She must get to know you, and find that you suit her purposes and desires. Also this displays how needy you are, and how novice you are. Please don't appear lonely, needy or desperate, it is repulsive. With so many of you to choose from, of course we will eliminate you immediately for this mistake. Hopefully after reading this page and the link below, even the most novice should be done asking these totally absurd questions. Learn to ask if the position is filled instead.
Learn to say you wish to serve, and why, and why her or him.

6. Don't lie. We will know, we have special radar for this. I know you think it's not true, but it is SO true. Don't say you have "not much" experience if you have none. We know when you are lying. We know what you're going to say, in advance, now 99% of the time when you send us a message, anyway. You think you are unique perhaps, but beware.
There are 278 million hopeful male subs for each and every single solitary hypnotic Domme. You aren't THAT unique. There's at least a few subs that have already said the same exact things you are, and recently, maybe even this week or today.

7. Don't pretend you are just shooting the breeze with us if you are looking for a Mistress or a trance. Out with it! Be polite first, but say so! Don't talk to us for 3 hours 'getting to know us' before you say what's so. After we say 'no you can't serve us', you're likely to not ever speak to us again. That's right, believe it or not, subs show bad attitudes sometimes when we reject them, by having tantrums, being manipulative or argumentative, by being curt, or even rude in many ways too. We are sure not likely to ever be interested in those subs again. Finding the right D/s partner is time-consuming and difficult for all of us. Be a gentleman, have good manners even when you aren't getting what you want right now. The Domme you just pissed off today, might be looking for another new sub before you find even the first Domme. I can't tell you how many of these subs forget they ever even talked to you, and come back around, looking like fools, because we remember them.

8. Don't keep talking to the Domina until she gets rid of you, after a while, leave of your own accord. Respect her time, and politely excuse yourself! Also, you don't serve her yet, so don't ask her permission to leave until you do. At this point don't ask her to do any little dominant things for you. She doesn't even know you.

9. Don't be pushy. Aggressive subs (how's that for an oxymoron?) don't get anywhere, so chill out! Don't argue with her if she says she doesn't want you to serve her. Don't be pushy. Don't tell her why she should let you be her sub. Don't tell her about how unfair she is. Just say thanks and move along, or make an attempt to be her friend. Don't try to manipulate the Domina. She knows when you do this and believe me it is an instant turn-off! It won't happen and you will fail. You'll be immediately spotted for the S.S.S. you are (self serving sub, how's that for another oxymoron?), and your time with that Mistress is over. I cannot believe how many people call themselves sub, but are really pushy manipulators. We used to have another word for them S.A.M. (smart ass masochists), but I thing S.S.S. is even better! These are guys are bad sub material, and we know it.

10. Don't ever ask if you can add a female Dominant to your friends list before you talk to her. Why on earth would she ever say yes? People are already hounding her. Believe me she doesn't want more people who IM or PM her when she first shows herself. Because of this most Dommes never even show themselves. Do you wonder why we are hard to find for a chat? This is why.

11. Don't assume anything about this Domme.
Don't assume she wants to be called ANYTHING at all like Mistress, Ma'am, or M'Lady. ASK her how to address her, and use what she says she wishes to be called on the PROFILE, until you learn the answer.
Don't assume she wants to see your cock or your ass on your profile. Don't flash the Mistress.
Don't assume she wants to know how horny you are.
Don't assume she likes pornography, or that she is sleazy.
Don't assume she's a so-called proDomme.
Don't assume she doesn't care if you are married.
Don't assume she thinks you're cute just because most women have said they did. Don't be an egotist in any way, it's such a turn-off. Arrogance is such a turn-off!
Don't assume she cares if you are a millionaire, an attorney, a doctor, a kung fu expert, a senator, an athlete, a musician, or an actor, a trader on wallstreet, or whatever you may be.
Don't assume she wants to know that your cock is hard.
Don't assume she dominates men on cam, online, by phone. Make the assumption that she is a real life Domme and if you are fortunate she will treat you like a real life sub.

12. Know how to describe what your experience is succinctly if you have some, both with hypnosis and as a submissive.

13. Don't be lazy with the Domme, don't use single letters for whole words like "How r u?" If you're too lazy to type that right now, how lazy will you be when you try to serve? No one like a lazy slave.

This article was inspired by my response to Lady Julia's article:
How to meet a Domme: What do I say?
http://www.ladyjulia.net/0081.html
©2005 Goddess Kwan Yin
all rights reserved
goddess.quan.yin@gmail.com

Reflection

I had a very internal day, a day of questioning. I talked to hardly anyone. I stayed in my room. Inwardly, I was hard on myself. I asked if my standards for a sub were too high?

Does anyone know why there aren't more great subs, who are also great hypnotic subjects? Considering the sheer number of subs out there, you'd think there would be a lot more good ones with both kind of experience at least.

Public Blind Directives Demonstration

It's been really great weather for boots lately and, well, I do love that! Tonight I had an informal discussion in the chat room of my discussion group. It was really great too, even better than I expected. One person I have hypnotized twice before, and to whom I have given the setup to receive blind directives, came by the room. Everyone was able to see how blind directives work live on this sub, even though he never suspected! If you weren't there you really missed something to see!

Story: A Will of Iron

Today I posted a really great new story on my by Terry Potter. Oooh talk about a villainess! Check it out here: A Will of Iron.

The First Forum

The night before last was my discussion group's first Forum. It was really great too. Quite a few Dom/mes and some subs came, no vanilla people either. No need to explain D/s things like limits, SSC, etc. Although that would have been fine too. I was the first guest, and I talked about doing covert hypnosis and how to do it safely, sanely, and consensually. These hypnotist/Dom/mes were really soaking up what I was saying too. First I asked, “What if you could do surprise trances or sneak up on people but still be safe, sane, and consensual?” That got everyone's attention. I talked about the special kink of surprise covert inductions, deep subjects like blackout trances, and how to sneakily get consent. I also talked about a new technique I call blind directives, which allow the hypnotist to secretly direct the subject in real time, in or out of the state of hypnosis.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Well, I think I finished my submission application today. After my editrix looks it over, I will be all set to take applications to serve once again. I think I did a very compassionate job of writing it too this time. Last time I asked a lot of embarrassing questions like, "What are the dimensions of your penis?" This time I gave the poor subs some mercy and I only asked questions you might expect. Mmmmmmmmmmmm I am beginning to enjoy thinking about what my new sub might be like.

Your Opinion Please?

This guy approaches me and says he wants to make something for my site. He says he's done art for other Mistress’ sites. He makes a rough one I can't use. He says he will make the text of the outside ring spin around the center of my logo like he did in the rough one. I give him the clean original copyrighted artwork of my logo, that I lovingly made with my own two hands in Illustrator and Photoshop.

Last night, after I gave him my art, I made it clear that I don't pay for anything with trances. The next day he says he isn't "motivated". He says, "I am sorry. Are you disappointed?"

I say, “I think if you wish to barter for your art, you should say so up front—and you know I am not for sale at any price. I am the last Mistress you should jerk around karmically because I am nice to you and I look out for subs.”

He says that isn’t at all what he was thinking. It is not true, blah blah. So I asked him to prove to me that he was not like that by making my logo spin. “Maybe you will gain a friend,” I added.

To which he replied, "OK.”

Now, your opinion please?

Should I give him a chance, maybe I misunderstood? He really wasn’t trying to worm his way out of this. Or should I trust my instincts that tell me he is never going to do it

Let me know what you think.

*A note written Dec. 18th: never heard from this guy again! His name on Yahoo! Messenger is: ntranzd4u.
It’d be fine with me if you sent him some nice messages and encouraged him to finish the work for me—or just give him a piece of your mind (that's all right too).

38 Degrees of Insomnia

It's really cold outside this morning, 38 degrees F. I'm awake because I am afraid my snakes will be too cold. You see, I am the thermostat.

I have been thinking this morning about the sort of sub I would like to have this time. I try to pick a life partner for a sub, and will this time also. There are so many subs now. It is like a cyber singles bar of my fetish, everyday I meet many subs online, 95% of whom just want a quick & free trance (which in my universe might as well be a quick & free #@&! . . . (Can I say fuck?). Some are married, some are too young, some are boring (Carlitos says no boring men—women hate a boring man. He is right!). Even the ones that might fit in all these catagorical requirements, usually are still pretty one-dimensional.

For those of you who have never been a hypnotic Mistress, you must imagine all the males that are finally getting a chance to speak to a Domme, because I am the only one nice enough to talk to all these novices, weirdos, and everybody else who wants to chat. They are nervous. They say things like, "I don't know what to say." You can feel how tense they are. It is almost painful seeing them like that. I am usually doing five things besides talking to them. Maybe chatting with my 'real friends,' doing the mail, looking at boa constrictors on kingsnake.com—whatever—plus talking to them. It means everything to this guy, and almost nothing to me. Or there are those guys who nervously ask you questions: 20 questions, 50 questions, 100 questions. Then they ask questions that require longer and longer answers. At this point, I am usually distracted. I ignore him more and more and, before long, his BIG OPPORTUNITY is gone.

I do not relish beginning to think about a new sub now. I wish there were a way to still be nice to everyone, but only interview the ones who are experienced subs and hypnotic subjects—and who have a life. And who have stuff going on in their brains besides the kinky thoughts. A person, a real stand-alone person, is what I would like. Someone who can go in public with me and isn’t mistaken for my son . . . or my father.

I just read what someone trying to connect to me, in this thing called Yahoo! 360, said about himself. It’s one of those friends’ networks. He said he just wants to meet women who will have sex with him, so I deleted him. Another person the other day asked if I would join his 360 too. I saw that there were like six other Goddesses there already, and they were all, you know, the ones that take money for my kink. You know the kind—and don't get me started here or my blog will look like my FAQs! There, I tell everyone to be careful and pick a Dominant that is a person (not a business), who cares for you, etc.

Sometimes I wonder, where all these terminally horny porn-dog guys that inhabit the Net come from. I mean, before the Internet, where were all of them? Do you suppose the Net gives them the courage, the anonymity, the venue to allow them to talk to us? I mean, otherwise we'd have to hang out around porn movie theaters and dirty book stores to meet them, right? I am kinky, but there is a difference between kinky and scummy.

At last the sun came up, and my snakes are coming up off the 75 degree mark. I need more heaters or more insulation, or more something. I know I need more chocolate; of this I am sure. America is the "more" economy too, more pizza, more sex, more new cars, more lingerie, more everything, more jewelry, more hair products, more this, more that. No wonder there are drugs like antidepressants for all the people who want more, more, more of everything and cannot have it. That's what we are—a society of people who want things they cannot have: a house, an estate, a mansion, a car, a bigger better newer car, a brand new Ferrari, a hooker, a chick, a woman, a proDomme, a lifestyle hypnoDomme. It doesn't matter what it is, once you have it you want a better bigger newer shinier one.

I'm going back to sleep I hope.

Site & Stories: at my new domain

Finally! My site, with its brand new look, now logo, completely new art & graphics, and the favorite stories we all love, is finally up where it belongs at long last! Thanks to agnar, fendidog, and bunny.

New Domain: hypnotic-submission.org

I am pretty happy today. I got a my new domain:
hypnotic-submission.org.
My site will be there soon. All my snakes finally are eating frozen thawed mice too. I am SOOOO happy!

I Feel Free

What an eventful day. I just found out I lost my domain—and—I broke up with my sub too. Bet the astrology is off the charts for this day! So, looks like I will be able to get hypnotic-submission.org . . . which is ok, I guess. The sub thing . . . well, you know . . . that was a long time coming. I feel free.

The Evil Eye

It occurs to me that giving someone the "Evil Eye" like in this photo, might work as a shock induction, causing the subject to become instantly and deeply suggestible to the curse uttered at the same time.

Day after Halloween

The Halloween Party yesterday rocked! Might be a first for Yahoo, actually having hypnosis discussed in a chat room too! (Oh come on, laugh!). I explained Blind Directives to a few subs and they became pretty interested. Pretty cool for the first Halloween Party in my Yahoo Group, I must say.

In the Beginning...

Today, the beginning of my blog, October 29, 2005, is the yearly Halloween party in the chat room of my discussion group. Halloween, or Samhain, or the Day of the Dead, has always been my favorite holiday. I love this day because it gives the ordinary person a chance to break out of their usual mold, and don a different attitude, outlook (maybe even gender) and of course, a new and unusual look. I plugged this party with the tag line "Bring Your Own Mind!" I wonder if anyone will? *cackles*